Girls Aloud

Dear readers,

I think I've got this alternative blog Down to a tee. If it's a big poetic build-up about a gross act... Then it was the one who doesn't wash a lot. If it's lots of talk about tans and moustaches... Then it's the one who farts a lot. Either way, it's time this alternative blog received a woman's touch.

Now just because everyday two men ride me doesn't make me any less of a lady. Even if my relationship with the boys has been through some rocky stretches, I'm still the only woman either of them will feel for a long time. I may be a whole lot dirtier than when we started, but I retain my femininity.

Recently I've had quite a few more gals to gossip with. We see each other at the locks and sometimes under bridges. Now these ladies are much more sophisticated than those old women on the Loire who had fish breath... But these motormouths don't know when to slow down. It's so hard to follow the conversation when you're being buffeted by waves of gossip.

However, as much as I complain, meeting with my girls definitely beats hearing,

"Is this the way to Amorello? Bm Bm."

...being sung 12 times a day. I know in a few months I'll have been around the block a few times, but I do hope I can find someone else's bottom to caress.

Faithfully and lovingly,