Manly things we do. Because we're men

- Canoe topless whenever the sun is visible, declaring loudly in the morning "sun's out, gun's out!"

- Never shaving. Ever. Because men of the wild grow beards and us two lads can't help but try.

- Eating 'hyperprotein' biscuits, despite the fact they are essentially ginger-nuts in packs of four.

- Assessing the running styles of people on the tow path. Because we're men, we're runners, and we know best. Their running style is always worse than ours.

- Insisting on referring to ourselves as 'on tour'.

- Carrying a football at all times, despite packing only the bare essentials and never having anyone to play football with.

- Draining a pack of beetroot. Weekly. With a penknife.

- Walking past a group of youths without so much as a flinch. It was getting dark.

- Swimming in every river. Making an effort to have swam in every waterway.

- Urinating in every river. Adding a bitter but sterile irony to the previous point.

- Never asking for directions. Well, we're on a river.

- Throwing items, despite being well within casual passing distance of one another.

- Drinking beers whenever the opportunity presents itself. Pints, obviously. Real men also like white wine.

- Regularly foregoing suntan lotion. Men don't have the time to protect against severe melanoma.

- Talking about boobs.

- Maintaining a direct course even when a swan is in our route. With only a slight diversion. Of a few meters. To avoid the swan.

- Wearing shorts and sandals in all weather. Because nothing's more waterproof in the rain than human skin.

- Squeeking a strained, "it's alright, I've got it", when someone offers help with our heavy bags. Because they have no idea and we're the only ones who could possibly manage.

- Drinking cold, strong, black, sugarless coffee. Because in Europe you drink coffee and man has no time for boiling water.

- Open discussions about our last trip to the toilet. Because it's always good to compare.

- Walking on the rocks in bare feet. Like real back-to-nature men.

- Sticking to the four main food groups: carbs, protein, grass and flies.

- Canoeing the continent.